Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
