wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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