I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
