yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
