Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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