Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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