when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
