guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
