I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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