my sisters under your porch take her home
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
