Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is the high leading the old right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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