Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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