This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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