i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
