Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
