sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am spending my child support on dildos
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
