i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I want a musical about memes.
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