i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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