Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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