Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
