You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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