did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
