I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
