girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
