Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
nutella sex= disaster
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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