i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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