He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
