i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
