She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
