i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
