Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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