Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I love you. Go after that dick
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
