We're like a lot better than the average bears
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
