Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
