5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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