I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
