whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
