Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We are two peas in an std pod
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
