Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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