Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
