He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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