I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
