I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
