Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
