I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
