where am i from again
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
