He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
