i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
