In the future we'll all be gay
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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