I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
