There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
