mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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