I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
